A recap of Obama’s one millionth speech

I openly admit that I didn’t watch President Obama give his one millionth speech since taking office. I instead chose to tune into the Animal Planet Network and watch the mating habits of the North American Garden Snail. Quite frankly, I find it almost impossible to watch the man speak anymore. I thank the late Nikola Tesla for coming up with the technology that gave us the remote control; one of the best inventions of all time!

I did notice that he gave one of his very rare speeches from the Oval Office. It was reported that he wanted to fly to Tahiti to make the address, but both Air Farce One and Air Farce Two are having their engines overhauled due to the extreme stress they’ve been under the last few months flying Michelle, Barry, family, friends, bikes, and dog all over the planet.

Suddenly I realized that I didn’t need to watch his speech in order to give my loyal readers the honest review they expect from me.

I assure you that Hope and Change is on its way - please be patient!

Here’s a recap of President Obama’s address from the Oval Office:

Blah, blah, blah, BUSH’S FAULT, yap, yap, yap, TAX CUTS FOR THE RICH, flap, flap, flap, GLOBAL WARMING, blah, blah, blah, FAIRNESS, yap, yap, yap, THE REPUBLICAN’S FAULT, flap, flap, flap, BP OIL, blah, blah, blah, HURRICANE KATRINA, yap, yap, yap, HEALTHCARE, flap, flap, flap, BUSH DID IT FIRST, blah, blah, blah, HOPE, yap, yap, yap, CHANGE, flap, flap, flap, RELIGEOUS TOLERANCE, blah, blah, blah, CAP AND TRADE, yap, yap, yap, RACISM, flap, flap, flap, TALK RADIO, blah, blah, blah, FOX NEWS, yap, yap, yap, GLENN BECK, flap, flap, flap, GAY MARRIAGE, blah, blah, blah, COMPREHENSIVE IMMIGRATION REFORM, yap, yap, yap, EVIL BANKERS, blah, blah, blah, ENERGY TAX, yap, yap, yap, WORST ECONOMY SINCE THE GREAT DEPRESSION, flap, flap, flap, blah, blah, blah, yap, yap, yap, flap, flap, flap, DID I MENTION THAT IT’S ALL BUSH’S FAULT?