Thursday James will hold what is being called a “national press conference” to tell us what team he has decided to play for, err grace with his presence next season. ESPN, the former employer of the brilliant Keith Olbermann, is even airing a one hour show titled “the decision.” Sounds like a can’t-miss hour of television!

The mainstream media and the sports media (one and the same) have been all over this story for the past couple of weeks. It looks like they’ve finally found someone who rivals Barack Obama in the tingles and chills department. One wonders if Obama is happy to temporarily be out of the spotlight, or if he’s turning green with envy. It would have been a nice gesture if the president had offered Lebron the use of the Oval Office to make his earth shattering announcement from. After all, the office is rarely in use.

Why anyone over the age of 21 would give a damn where some basketball player will be earning his multi-million dollar salary is beyond me. I would think that in this current state of affairs people would have a few more important things to think about. I understand that sports are used by many as an entertainment and escape outlet, but this whole Lebron James fiasco is starting to border on insanity. How will Lebron James playing basketball in a certain city or state make life better for the people who live there? Will James help to balance the budget? Will he help to cut the deficit? Will he help cut the unemployment rate? (Please don’t mention food vendor jobs at the arena!) Will James’s presence protect the city or state from Muslim terror attacks? Besides the NBA, James, and possibly the team, who will really benefit from his presence?

I was once a stupid teenager whose level of happiness hinged on whether or not my sports team won or lost. When I grew up and joined the real world that stupidity dropped drastically on my give-a-shit list. Frankly, the arrogant and immature man-boy (No, not Obama) is as far down on my list as gong to an Air Supply concert.

I can’t be the only male in America who doesn’t give a damn where Lebron James plays next season – could I?

You know you love me!

Now for Lindsay Lohan!

I have a confession to make regarding Lindsay Lohan. Before I decided to write about her tonight, I had no idea who the hell she was or why she was famous! I’m not saying that I hadn’t heard her name mentioned before, but I never thought it was worth my time to Google her, or to tune into Entertainment Tonight to find out. To prove that this isn’t just a guy thing, I asked my wife who Lindsay Lohan is and why she’s famous, and she also had no clue. Maybe it’s just me, but the lives of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Lady Gaga are less interesting than knowing the proper air pressure on the Space Shuttle’s landing gear.

Why is the media so obsessed with Lindsay Lohan and her personal and legal problems? At this very moment, Sean Hannity is even talking about her on his Fox News Channel show. What the hell? I know that the simple answer comes down to economics; media outlets give their viewers and readers what they want. But is that the whole story?

Look at me! Pleeease look at me!

If I were a right-wing Oliver Stone, I could easily believe that there’s a nation-wide conspiracy involving Hollywood, the mainstream media, and the government to dumb-down the American public by focusing their attention on Lohan, Lebron, etc. while withholding relevant information and stories that have real impact on people’s lives.

What pops into my mind is the ‘cult favorite’ movie They Live. The 1988 sci-fi film starred Roddy Piper and Keith David. The plot of the movie revolved around aliens (not from Mexico, but from outer space) secretly living among us and keeping man-kind down by using subliminal messages encouraging people to:

• Obey
• Consume
• Watch TV
• Do not question authority
• Work 8 hours
• Submit
• Conform
• Stay asleep

 If you’ve never seen it, click here for a short clip.

Am I going insane, or does that B movie seem to make a lot more sense than it was intended to make? Hmmm…

The washed-up, ugly-ass, has-been was quoted as saying the following:

“It would be good…if Obama could be dictator for a few years because he could do a lot of good things quickly.”

The moron also made the following statements showing off his vast knowledge of the democratic process:

“I am pleased with Obama. I think he is brilliant. The Republican Party should get out of his way and stop trying to hurt him.”

And:

That Obama could “accomplish a whole lot more from his White House if he didn’t have so many disorderly, annoying people objecting, distracting and criticizing him all the time.”

Woody Allen: He's definitely as stupid as he looks!

This man is a disgrace of mindboggling proportions! What makes his “dictator” comments even viler is the fact that Allen happens to be a Jew – albeit a self-hating one! Where is the outrage and condemnation from all of the liberal Hollywood Jews such as Steven Spielberg? Where is the condemnation and outrage from liberal Jewish groups like the Anti-Defamation League (ADL)?

It’s no surprise to sane people that the Hollywood community is full of embarrassingly stupid ingrates filled with hate for America and the very system (Capitalism) that makes dumb people like them be able to live lifestyles that most hard-working people can only fantasize about.  However, this asinine comment pushes even their hatefully ignorant boundaries way over the line.

The one and only reason that these leftist scumbags can speak so irresponsibly is because the rest of us act responsibly. It’s the self-survival instincts of rational people that save these assholes from committing suicide by ignorance.

There’s a tiny bit of me that sometimes fantasizes about these cretins actually getting their way and having to live with the consequences of their arrogance and stupidity.

For instance: I would love to see what would happen to Rosie O’Donnell if Muslims became a majority in the West and Sharia law was in place. Does she really believe that radical Islam would treat her (a lesbian) better than George W. Bush or Sarah Palin?

I would also love to see Woody Allen live under the despotic rule of Fidel Castro. Hey Woody, do you think Castro would allow you to earn gazillions of dollars for making idiotic movies? I won’t even mention what would happen to this putrid bastard if an anti-Semitic lunatic like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad ever took power in the West. These left-wing kooks with their twisted values would be the first victims of the very totalitarians that they so often defend. They are either too stupid to realize that, or they’re subconsciously confident that the rest of us would never allow that to happen.

For years now, we have heard celebrity blowhards like Martha Stewart say that Sarah Palin is dangerous. We heard Rosie O’Donnell say that Christianity is just as dangerous as radical Islam. We heard Sean Penn say that citizens of Venezuela who speak out against Hugo Chavez should be thrown in jail. I could probably fill a hundred pages listing all of the stupid and irresponsible comments made by Hollywood elitists. Instead of kissing the ground when they wake up in America everyday, many of these creeps go out of their way to defend the indefensible while denouncing everything that allows them to be the spoiled celebrity millionaires that they are.

These morally corrupt dimwits need not worry though. Through the upcoming November mid-term elections, and the elections of 2012, the rest of us will make sure that they’ll still be free to spew their verbal diarrhea, and still be able to make their multi-million dollar salaries. Don’t bother thanking us – it’s our pleasure!